Ann is an overbearing female elder. Her heart is nothing but a cash register, more concerned about the bottom line than anything else. She is a dark skinned aries with black hair and eyes as cold and gray as her soul. Her only weakness is men who can cook, specially if they do it in swimwear. But if he has custom hair, he might as well not even bother. She'll never understand her daughter Jacqueline's way of life, but Ann pretends to tolerate it since she pays the bills.

Michael is a male teen that is being molded by his grandmother to be an unstoppable money maker. He is a sagittarius that is attracted to logical wearers of jewelry, that preferably are not fat. He has medium light skin, brown hair, and dark blue eyes. He was just a small child when Jacqueline and Norma adopted him and barely remembers the orphanage at all.

Jacqueline is a popular, feminine, adult virgo. She has dark skin, red hair, green eyes, and is considerably chubby. She has a thing for brown haired robots, but is turned off by women with make-up. She gets the feeling that her mother wishes she was turned off by all women. But she can't help who she is. She and Norma were joined right after high school and she couldn't be happier with her life.

Norma is an adult female who prefers black haired zombies. Go figure. She is a light skinned virgo with brown hair and eyes. She is repulsed by even her own baby fat, though many say she wears it well. Whatever that means. Norma is unhappy with her life. Last time she mentioned her yearnings for family, Jacqueline called the adoption agency, and Michael was delivered the following day.